"When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Eric Bristow is 27." - Sid Waddell
Teddington Athletic may be a long way from world champions, but they are also a long way ahead of the rest of the Surrey County Womens & Girls League U12 Division Two. Nine points clear with seven games left, they simply keep winning against whomever they face.
With respect to last week's opponents Caterham Pumas, Sunday's visitors Kempton Girls are the closest Teddington have to rivals in this division. And although Kempton put up strong resistance, passing and moving intelligently, the 9-0 scoreline doesn't lie. Teddington were simply too good.
The girls had been warned that this would be their toughest match so far, and reminded of the narrow 4-2 victory at Kempton a month ago - easily the closest any team has come to matching the league leaders. But since then, Teddington have continued to improve.
That 4-2 win was the team's least impressive display, with players who had been told to pass constructively instead choosing to dribble selfishly and aimlessly. Those days have gone, and with them any real danger of Teddington not winning this league. Schoolyard dribbling might beat weaker opponents but the right passing can get through any defence - as Sunday showed. In their four fixtures fulfilled against other teams, Kempton have conceded one goal. On their first trip to Bushy Park, they conceded as many in the first minute.
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| Typical Teddington: Phoebe on the ball, attackers pouring forward |
Sinead Morris is potentially one of the division's best players. She idolises Thierry Henry, but the languid Frenchman never tore around a pitch with the endless energy Sinead brings. If she has had a weakness, it is the temptation to dribble with her head down, but she's fast learning to look up for her team-mates - and how Teddington are benefiting.
That said, the opening goal was all her own doing. Just before kick-off, she confided to your reporter that she was nervous: "I don't know how good they are." Told to treat the nerves as excitement, she was reminded to look for team-mates as well as dribbling - "but if you think you can beat the right-back, get at her." Within 30 seconds, Sinead tore at the defence and lashed home the opening goal.
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| Sinead takes on the world |
It wasn't long before Sinead added a second, and suddenly Kempton were in the unusual position of chasing the game. The visitors had won their last two games 4-0 and 8-0, but that hadn't been against Teddington. Manager Dave W had considered reverting to a back three but kept faith that Millie Theobald and Saskia Brewster offered enough protection at the back, especially with a fluid midfield meaning the formation switched from 2-5-1 without the ball to 2-3-3 in possession, as wide attackers Sinead and Phoebe Head stretched the game to support ever-willing front-runner Ale Fairn.
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| Oi! Defence! Concentrate! |
At the hub of everything in that first half was Ella V, given special detail to mark the opposition linchpin but typically involved all over the place. Beside her in the middle, Ella Parkinson-Mearns added defensive solidity in an unfamiliar role, even getting forward in the second half to threaten goals.
If 'Parky' is a natural defender adapting to a new position – as several of her team-mates already have this season – then the girl on the other side of Ella V, Emily Coulson, has already developed enormously into a gifted attacking midfielder capable of scoring goals but just as happy to create chances for others; one first-half sliding pass took out four defenders. Emily watched it disappear into the distance with a Hoddlesque air of satisfaction at a job well done.
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| Cheers mate: Sinead thanks Emily as Ale looks on |
Emily it was who added the third goal, breaking Kempton's resistance. The visitors neither panicked nor collapsed, and continued to play good passing football, but things got considerably worse for them in the second half. Before the break, stand-in keeper Millie Mac had just one real shot to save, and dealt with it well to keep her second consecutive clean sheet; second-half goalkeeper Ella V had even less to do.
For a start, Kempton were now playing into the teeth of the hurricane-presaging winds, which had barely bothered Teddington in the first half - the hosts simply passed the ball on the floor - but gave them licence to shoot from greater distance after the break.
Sinead hammered in her hat-trick and on the opposite wing Phoebe started to really torment the visitors. With the wind at her back, Teddington's top scorer repeatedly ran at the defence, scoring a couple of goals and threatening many more.
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| GPRS (Goal: Phoebe; Ruby Supporting) |
With intelligent runs from players like Ale, Sinead, Emily and second-half sub Ruby Rudkin - who added some midfield steel and a goal celebrated with typical exuberance - Phoebe sometimes had more options than she knew what to do with, and certainly more than Kempton could defend against. Emily's second and Sinead's fourth completed the rout.
That also made it 77 goals in seven (fulfilled) fixtures for Teddington, but big numbers on the scoresheet are nothing new. What most impressed about this performance was its unflustered maturity, its patient domination of worthy but outfought foes.
After next week's league game against Colne Valley, the girls play Caterham Pumas again in the League Cup; should they win that, they are guaranteed Division One opposition in the next round, namely Carshalton Athletic or Molesey Juniors. It will be interesting to see how they do against teams from the next level, because after this latest triumph, surely Teddington are heading there next season.
TEDDINGTON ATHLETIC (2-5-1): Millie MacEacharn; Millie Theobald, Saskia Brewster (c); Phoebe Head (2), Ella Parkinson-Mearns, Ella V, Emily Coulson (2), Sinead Morris (4); Ale Fairn. Sub Ruby Rudkin (1). Bushy Park, 10am.
