"I've had boos and whistles my whole career," says Luis Suarez in the new issue of FourFourTwo - available from all good newsagents and some frankly awful ones. "It's their way of intimidating you to make you feel uncomfortable, but the more you boo me, the more you motivate me."
Teddington Athletic have deserved nothing but praise for a debut season which has seen then win every game with sparkling football and smiling faces – but it seems not everybody is as gracious as the girls are graceful, judging by some comments from the visiting fans on Sunday. TAFC's coaching staff have gone through the correct procedures to make sure it doesn't happen again, but that's not for the players to worry about. All they need to know is that any negative comments they may hear are born of fear.
A pleasant family club who can't be blamed for (but must keep in check) some unfortunate followers, Colne Valley were the latest to fall to Teddington's team-play. It took just five minutes for them to score, and again it was returning striker Ale Fairn who nipped in at the far post to finish after the Colne goalkeeper didn't quite collect Phoebe Head's testing right-wing cross.
The second goal came in similar fashion: Phoebe tore down the right and looked up to see Ale and Sinead Morris bursting into the middle. Phoebe's gorgeous cross could have found either of them but it was Sinead who applied the finish.
Two minutes later, Phoebe turned from maker to taker as Sinead returned the favour, passing intelligently to her fellow winger, Phoebe placing the ball calmly into the bottom right corner for 3-0 after barely a quarter of an hour.
Sinead had been fed by Ella V, dominating the game from her new position. The absence of Emily Coulson allowed for a tactical tweak; while retaining the attacking trident that has torn up the division and the bold back two that allows for so much spatial domination in front of them, Teddington's management team inverted the usual midfield triangle: instead of the two central midfielders sitting behind Emily's "No.10" slot, they played in front of Ella V, patrolling between the midfield and defence.
It's an interesting formation which may be used more in next season's higher-level campaign. Not only does it mean "Jelly" can drop into the back line when needed, it also gives her a good view of the play unfolding before her – and gives her two fellow midfielders more licence to scamper forward in what can effectively become a fearsome front five.
On this occasion, with Emily unavailable and Ruby Rudkin rested to avoid risking a questionable shoulder ahead of her rugby trail this Friday, the central midfielders were Sophie Wallman and Millie MacEacharn. Sophie was her usual ball of committed energy, dashing about wherever needed, while Millie Mac continued her own development into an increasingly calm presence on the ball, dovetailing particularly well with Sinead in a left-wing flurry of ponytails.
Indeed, Sinead was starting to enjoy herself, despite being on the wing with the mouthy visitors. Shortly after one of them had bellowed that Colne should "show some strenf", she did exactly that by flattening an opponent with a perfectly fair shoulder-charge; a minute later, she set up Ale for another left-foot finish into the bottom-right corner. 4-0.
By then, Phoebe had winced off the field with a shoulder injury, giving sub Sadie Day the chance to display her determination and increasing skills. But it was Sinead again who made it five, following up her own shot from a Jelly long throw and pouncing on the rebound.
And Sinead it was who continued the demolition early in the second half. Beating four players and putting it in the bottom-right corner made it 6-0, then came notice that Teddington are still learning lessons.
Last week's cup defeat to Wimbledon highlighted the potential of the occasional early pass forward: not a hopeful punt, but a weighted through-ball into the space in front of an alert flyer. And that's exactly what Jelly did, dissecting the defence with a quick free-kick which Sinead confidently finished for her fourth.
It's the kind of sharp-witted goal that might decide a few games in Teddington's favour next season, but here discretion demanded a different course. Again, the Athletic management told their girls to stop picking up loose opposition goal-kicks – another source of several goals this season – and again, they started to substitute players and diminish their number to make the game a fairer battle. (Although Sinead took some convincing that four goals was a big enough personal haul…)
With Ale, Sinead and Phoebe substituted, and Emily, Ruby and Amy Hallett unavailable, Teddington now had their top six scorers off the field – 115 goals' worth of talent over the course of this season – but such is the depth of the squad, it didn't stop them. And it was the next highest scorer, Ella V, who marched forward to make it 8-0, romping through and finishing in that bottom-right corner one more time.
Satisfied with her goal and subsequent celebration, Jelly then switched to goalkeeping duties, allowing Charlotte Ward a run up front. Alongside Sophie and Sadie behind her was sub Ella Parkinson-Mearns, enjoying another foray in midfield as defenders Saskia Brewster and Millie Theobald started their first game together in nearly three months. Only in the final minute did this combative line-up, short of experience and two girls fewer than their opponents, concede a goal – prompting a sigh from manager Dave W and personal apologies from Parky and Sas.
Such is the quest for progress that marks out Teddington as a team that will continue to evolve and improve. It might not be to everybody's taste, but you don't have to be. Ask Luis Suarez.
TEDDINGTON ATHLETIC (2-3-3) Charlotte Ward; Millie Theobald, Saskia Brewster; Ella V (1), Sophie Wallman, Millie MacEacharn; Sinead Morris (4), Ale Fairn (2), Phoebe Head (1). Subs Ella Parkinson-Mearns, Sadie Day. Teddington Cricket Club; bright and breezy.
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