Sun 27 Oct: Kempton Girls (H) W 9-0

"When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Eric Bristow is 27." - Sid Waddell

Teddington Athletic may be a long way from world champions, but they are also a long way ahead of the rest of the Surrey County Womens & Girls League U12 Division Two. Nine points clear with seven games left, they simply keep winning against whomever they face. 

With respect to last week's opponents Caterham Pumas, Sunday's visitors Kempton Girls are the closest Teddington have to rivals in this division. And although Kempton put up strong resistance, passing and moving intelligently, the 9-0 scoreline doesn't lie. Teddington were simply too good.

The girls had been warned that this would be their toughest match so far, and reminded of the narrow 4-2 victory at Kempton a month ago - easily the closest any team has come to matching the league leaders. But since then, Teddington have continued to improve. 

That 4-2 win was the team's least impressive display, with players who had been told to pass constructively instead choosing to dribble selfishly and aimlessly. Those days have gone, and with them any real danger of Teddington not winning this league. Schoolyard dribbling might beat weaker opponents but the right passing can get through any defence - as Sunday showed. In their four fixtures fulfilled against other teams, Kempton have conceded one goal. On their first trip to Bushy Park, they conceded as many in the first minute.

Typical Teddington: Phoebe on the ball, attackers pouring forward

Sinead Morris is potentially one of the division's best players. She idolises Thierry Henry, but the languid Frenchman never tore around a pitch with the endless energy Sinead brings. If she has had a weakness, it is the temptation to dribble with her head down, but she's fast learning to look up for her team-mates - and how Teddington are benefiting.

That said, the opening goal was all her own doing. Just before kick-off, she confided to your reporter that she was nervous: "I don't know how good they are." Told to treat the nerves as excitement, she was reminded to look for team-mates as well as dribbling - "but if you think you can beat the right-back, get at her." Within 30 seconds, Sinead tore at the defence and lashed home the opening goal. 

Sinead takes on the world

It wasn't long before Sinead added a second, and suddenly Kempton were in the unusual position of chasing the game. The visitors had won their last two games 4-0 and 8-0, but that hadn't been against Teddington. Manager Dave W had considered reverting to a back three but kept faith that Millie Theobald and Saskia Brewster offered enough protection at the back, especially with a fluid midfield meaning the formation switched from 2-5-1 without the ball to 2-3-3 in possession, as wide attackers Sinead and Phoebe Head stretched the game to support ever-willing front-runner Ale Fairn.  

  

Oi! Defence! Concentrate!

At the hub of everything in that first half was Ella V, given special detail to mark the opposition linchpin but typically involved all over the place. Beside her in the middle, Ella Parkinson-Mearns added defensive solidity in an unfamiliar role, even getting forward in the second half to threaten goals.  

If 'Parky' is a natural defender adapting to a new position – as several of her team-mates already have this season – then the girl on the other side of Ella V, Emily Coulson, has already developed enormously into a gifted attacking midfielder capable of scoring goals but just as happy to create chances for others; one first-half sliding pass took out four defenders. Emily watched it disappear into the distance with a Hoddlesque air of satisfaction at a job well done.

Cheers mate: Sinead thanks Emily as Ale looks on

Emily it was who added the third goal, breaking Kempton's resistance. The visitors neither panicked nor collapsed, and continued to play good passing football, but things got considerably worse for them in the second half. Before the break, stand-in keeper Millie Mac had just one real shot to save, and dealt with it well to keep her second consecutive clean sheet; second-half goalkeeper Ella V had even less to do.

For a start, Kempton were now playing into the teeth of the hurricane-presaging winds, which had barely bothered Teddington in the first half - the hosts simply passed the ball on the floor - but gave them licence to shoot from greater distance after the break.  

Sinead hammered in her hat-trick and on the opposite wing Phoebe started to really torment the visitors. With the wind at her back, Teddington's top scorer repeatedly ran at the defence, scoring a couple of goals and threatening many more. 

GPRS (Goal: Phoebe; Ruby Supporting) 

With intelligent runs from players like Ale, Sinead, Emily and second-half sub Ruby Rudkin - who added some midfield steel and a goal celebrated with typical exuberance - Phoebe sometimes had more options than she knew what to do with, and certainly more than Kempton could defend against. Emily's second and Sinead's fourth completed the rout. 

That also made it 77 goals in seven (fulfilled) fixtures for Teddington, but big numbers on the scoresheet are nothing new. What most impressed about this performance was its unflustered maturity, its patient domination of worthy but outfought foes. 

After next week's league game against Colne Valley, the girls play Caterham Pumas again in the League Cup; should they win that, they are guaranteed Division One opposition in the next round, namely Carshalton Athletic or Molesey Juniors. It will be interesting to see how they do against teams from the next level, because after this latest triumph, surely Teddington are heading there next season.

TEDDINGTON ATHLETIC (2-5-1): Millie MacEacharn; Millie Theobald, Saskia Brewster (c); Phoebe Head (2), Ella Parkinson-Mearns, Ella V, Emily Coulson (2), Sinead Morris (4); Ale Fairn. Sub Ruby Rudkin (1). Bushy Park, 10am. 

Sun 27 Oct: Kempton Girls (H) gallery

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Phoebe on the ball, Ale on the run

Sinead takes on the world (and usually wins)

Sinead and Emily get forward as Phoebe tears down the wing

Ale takes it to the heart of the Kempton defence

First-half goalkeeper Millie "Clean Sheet" MacEacharn

Sinead celebrates with Emily, Ella V (half-hidden) and Ale

Saskia and Millie Mac deal with it

Sinead runs at them

Millie Mac, Ruby and Emily run back after another goal 

Second-half goalkeeper Ella V watches on

Phoebe turns to celebrate a goal

Case For The Defence: Millie T & Saskia mind the shop

Another one goes in, watched by Ella P and Sinead

Thanks as ever to David Theobald for the images

Teddington Athletic v Everton and England (not really)

TAFC players Ella V and Phoebe Head went along to the England v Wales Women's World Cup qualifier at Millwall and ended up playing with England and Everton star Fern Whelan... Everyone learned something. Jelly and Pheebs learned some skills, Fern learned how good they are and Dave learned which way up to hold his camera while filming...

TAFC U12 Girls Silver Sponsorship Raffle

Teddington Athletic's Under-12 Girls are pitching in to raise money through a sponsorship raffle aimed at local businesses in Teddington and surrounding district. 

With only 56 Raffle tickets available, each of the table-topping squad's 14 members are looking to sell four tickets each. Each ticket costs £25 to buy and gives the bearer the chance of winning Teddington Athletic's Silver Level Sponsorship, worth £1,000. That allows the winner to display their name and logo on the Team's Away Shirts & Training Tops, Logo branding on the TAFC Website and a Link to the Company's website.

The Under-12 Girls have started the season in explosive style, winning their first five games to top their division. It is hoped that the Sponsorship Raffle will bring in much-needed funds.

In order to make the Raffle fair, no one company can buy more than four tickets – but if anyone wishes to get involved in sponsorship at a higher level, please contact the teams Manager Dave.

The following companies have already supported the Raffle, but there are many more tickets available.  If you would like to buy a ticket, please again contact Team Manager Dave W by email at: tafcsharksandgirls@gmail.com

Extra Special Thanks to:
Gazing Performance Systems 
Physio & Therapy, Teddington
Radiant Studios, London
Building Living Space, Twickenham 
Meadows Partnership Ltd, Teddington

Thank you also to:

Perform Group, London

The Bridge Consultancy, London
Astrora Coffee, Teddington
York Pet Supplies, Teddington
Pilates Revolution, Hampton Hill
Mela Mela Vintage, Teddington
Body Tailored Pilates, Teddington
Sweeney Todd Barbers, Hampton
Ruby's Prezzy's, Hampton
La Bottega, Teddington
Kindle Stoves, Teddington
Dexters, Teddington
AutoGallery, St Margaret's

Armstrong's Family Butchers, St Margaret's
50 Degrees North, East Twickenham
Shop & Go Limited
David Theobald Contemporary Art
Perfect House 4 You Ltd
Aline Roofing, Twickenham
Transform Pilates, Teddington
Fullers Builders, London
Kate Smart Fitness, Teddington
The London Bike Company, Hampton Wick

Sigma Sport, Hampton Wick

Elements, Teddington

Chandhok Store, Teddington

Londis, Teddington
ICS
Pirtek UK

Up Next: Kempton Girls (H)

Teddington cross the halfway point of their 15-game league season with a game against their closest rivals. Kempton Girls have played six games (to Teddington's seven) and only lost one - the 4-2 home defeat to Teddington in late September. 

That match - the report's here - was the closest Teddington have come to not winning a game. Phoebe Head's opener was fortuitous, and Kempton's equaliser was followed by a period of pressure in which the home side could easily have gone in front, as the visitors tended to dribble rather than pass and somewhat stopped playing as a team. 

As it was, Teddington got back in front and withstood an improved second-half showing from Kempton, but they will need to be on their guard this weekend. Complacency is always a threat, but it's also worth noting that in that earlier game Kempton were without their star player.

That loss aside, Kempton have played four times and won them all, conceding just one goal and scoring at least 24. The record shows they started by beating Colne Valley 9-1 and Abbey Rangers 3-0; after that Teddington defeat, they again beat Colne 4-2 and received a walkover against Guildford Saints before beating Abbey 8-0. It's worth remembering that the first and last recorded results may have been limited by the league's ban on wins of more than eight goals. Make no mistake, these are good opponents.

Teddington are also weakened by absence. Goalkeeper Charlotte Ward is again out, as are midfield battlers Sophie Wallman and Sadie Day, not to mention second-top goalscorer Amy Hallett. Given those withdrawals, the squad picks itself: Millie MacEacharn, Ella Parkinson Mearns, Millie Theobald, Saskia Brewster, Ella V, Ruby Rudkin, Emily Coulson, Sinead Morris, Phoebe Head and Ale Fairn. It's a 10am kick-off so please meet on Bushy Park at 9.15am SHARP for what will need to be a very focused warm-up session. 

If Teddington win this game, they will be nine points clear with seven games left. If they lose, they will only be three points clear - with Kempton having a game in hand. It's in Teddington's hands, but they need to get their minds on the game quickly. 

Sun 20 Oct: Caterham Pumas (H) W 9-1

A firm advocate of watching the first half from on high to assess the playing patterns, Sam Allardyce once advised your reporter that Sunday League managers should consider using an umpire's chair "to get a better view". Even Signor Allardici wouldn't suggest moonlighting as a referee to get a closer view of the action, but he's missing out.

Pressed into official service when the whistle-blower failed to show, I had the pleasure of watching table-topping Teddington construct their moves (and destroy the opposition) from closer quarters than ever. It was a delight. Even if the ref's-eye-view is one of constant snap decisions over minutiae rather than the all-encompassing, trend-detecting overview of the spectator (or preposterously-seated gaffer), it was a joy to watch this talented Teddington team demand the ball, use it intelligently and work for each other.

Even losing goalkeeper Charlotte Ward to a vital engagement elsewhere failed to dent the squad's confidence. On the back of demolishing Abbey Rangers and Guildford Saints with double-figure scorelines, the girls had been warned that Caterham would present a much harder challenge. They did: Teddington merely stepped up their game and continued to crash in the goals. 

Sinead Morris started it, opening the scoring on six minutes. The Thierry Henry fan has missed the last two games, in which her team-mates have totted up nearly three dozen goals by passing their opponents into submission, but she finished her first chance like she'd never been away. Furthermore, whether played up front or on the wing, she showed a winning willingness to look up and find her colleagues, understanding that a pass can beat players more easily than any dribble.

Boink! Sinead shoots  

Phoebe Head already knows that, and Teddington's top scorer doubled the lead six minutes after Sinead's opener. Sinead made it three with a lashed finish and Phoebe's fourth, on 26 minutes, was no unrealistic reflection on the home side's dominance. Caterham are a decent team with some confident, skilful players - but the same goes for Teddington, in spades. 

Phoebe: Head up, looking for team-mates

It says much for the team's confidence that manager Dave W again chose to employ the two-at-the-back system that had worked so well the previous week. Saskia Brewster may prefer a personalised warm-up to make sure her knees don't hurt, but there's nothing rickety about her once the whistle blows: fast maturing into one of the division's best defenders, she invariably ended Caterham's attacks with perfectly-timed interceptions before intelligently recycling the ball to a team-mate, often with a well-placed vertical pass that immediately starts a counter-attack. 

Alongside her, Millie Theobald was just as impassable. Another who times her tackles to perfection, Millie also passes well, usually with the outside of her foot. She's not showing off, it's just her style. Between the two of them, it's no surprise that replacement goalkeeper Millie MacEacharn kept a clean sheet until half-time. 

By that point, Dave had made a triple substitution, bringing on Ella Parkinson-Mearns in midfield - an unaccustomed position but one she tackled as enthusiastically as ever - alongside Ruby Rudkin, who displayed her usual barnstorming determination, and Sadie Day, who is starting to combine her dedicated tackling with increasing confidence on the ball. 

It says much that, at 4-0 up, Dave felt able to take off his two leading scorers (Phoebe and Amy Hallett) and key midfielder Ella V, whose arrival in the team has taken its performances up another level. And it speaks volumes about the depth of talent in the squad that within three minutes of the triple swap, 4-0 had become 6-0. Both those late goals were scored by Emily Coulson, whose consummate ease on the ball grows by the week.

Emily brings it all under control (as Amy watches on)

Soon after half-time, Caterham pulled a goal back - whizzed directly from a free-kick past substitute goalkeeper Ella V, who protested that she had been blinded by the strong autumn sun - and proceeded to have their strongest spell of the match. 

It is to Teddington's great credit that they held the visitors at arm's length, determinedly defending their lines, and added a couple up at the other end - Emily completing a deserved hat-trick and Millie Mac popping up with an equally well-warranted goal. 

My, that's a fashionable referee...

And when, late in the game, Teddington spread the ball to Amy, your reporter was privileged to watch from close quarters as she flicked the ball past the left back, turned on the burners and lashed home Teddington's ninth and final goal. 

One big question remains. Next week, second-placed Kempton come to Bushy Park, and are expected to welcome their key striker back into a team whom Teddington were slightly fortunate to beat 4-2 last month.

If Kempton are the latest to fall, Teddington will be more than halfway through the season with a 100% record and can legitimately start planning for challenges in higher divisions, whether in this season's League Cup (first opponents: Caterham again, in three weeks' time) or next season in the league. 

TEDDINGTON ATHLETIC (2-5-1): Millie MacEacharn (1); Millie Theobald, Saskia Brewster; Amy Hallett (1), Sophie Wallman (c), Ella V, Emily Coulson (3), Phoebe Head (2); Sinead Morris (2). Subs: Sadie Day, Ella Parkinson-Mearns, Ruby Rudkin. Bushy Park, 10am KO. Many thanks to Simon 'Opta' Day for data collection.

Sun 20 Oct v Caterham Pumas: Gallery

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Once again, thanks to David Theobald for the photography. 

Teddington Athletic U12 Girls, 2013/14

Emily Coulson takes it in her stride

Sinead Morris lashes in a shot

Emily in the thick of it

Phoebe Head cuts inside

Ella V stamps her authority

Sophie Wallman chases it down in midfield

How TAFC players should be: head up, looking for the pass 

Emily prepares to slide Sinead in on goal 

The ball makes its inexorable way into the onion bag

Chaos! Ella Parky, Sadie Day and Sophie Wallman gang up

Up Next: Caterham Pumas (H)

Into the unknown for Teddington Athletic, with the only team in the division they haven't yet played. Caterham Athletic were due to host Teddington in the league's second week on 15 Sep, but couldn't rustle up a team; however, since then they have looked impressive.

In their first game, they won comfortably at Guildford Saints: the record shows 8-0, but that could easily have been a higher score capped by the league's commendable eight-goal-margin maximum. The following week, Caterham faced Crystal Palace Blues, from the division above, and drew 4-4 before winning on penalties (and earning a trip to Teddington in the next round).

They then beat Abbey Rangers 5-1 at home before earning their own 'walkover' victory when Colne Valley couldn't fulfil last week's fixture. So it has been a stop-start season for the Pumas, but when they've played they have won, and they will be worthy opposition for Teddington, who should also be wary of the opponent that can defeat anyone: complacency.

Teddington have looked a very good team so far this season, and have had especially fruitful victories in the last two fixtures. But the league is starting to take shape and Caterham look a much stronger team, as do next week's visitors Kempton. The next fortnight will go a long way to telling us how good a team Teddington actually are.

Again, it's a 10am kick-off, but girls should be there especially early at 9.10am because we're going to have a team photograph. The kits have come back with the logo of our sponsors Moidul's and as all girls are available this week, we'll take the opportunity to have the team picture done.

With the luxury of a full squad to choose from, manager Dave has chosen to rest Ale and Ruby - not dropped, but rotated: their turn will come again next week against Kempton Girls, currently in second place. The squad (with three subs) is therefore: Charlotte, Ella PM, Millie T, Saskia, Ella V, Millie Mac, Sophie, Sadie, Emily, Amy, Sinead, Phoebe.

Sun 13 Oct vs Abbey Rangers: Gallery

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Millie T closes in for the kill

Amy Hallett races down the right

Offside? No, Ale perfectly timed her run onto Emily's pass 

Emily closes in on goal, but this wasn't her day

Emily tries a Zola/Welbeck-style backheel

Ella V, Sophie, Ale and Emily queue up to score

Note moist managers

Thanks again to David Theobald for the preceding images. 

Sun 13 Oct: Abbey Rangers (H) 14-0

Mr Francis Sinatra one remarked that although it's nice to go travelling, it's so much nicer to come home. After spending five weeks on the road due to the unavailability of the cricket club pitch, Teddington Athletic played host for the first time and continued in their usual fashion - with a win.

In truth, Bushy Park has been much more hospitable than it was on this rainswept morning. When it's cold and dry, extra undershirts can keep the cockles warm, but nothing can protect you against driving rain. But Teddington Athletic Under-12 Girls are made of stern stuff, and having knuckled down to the conditions, they started as they meant to go on.

First half: Moist

With Sinead Morris suffering a stomach bug and Millie McEacharn unavailable, Phoebe Head switched from the right wing to the left; within 90 seconds she had opened the scoring, quickly doubling it by looping a shot over the stranded goalkeeper.

She was soon joined on the scoresheet by her good friend Ella V. Making only her second start of the season, Ella looked completely at home in the centre of a five-girl midfield. With usual right-back Ella Parkinson-Mearns out with the wrist injury picked up at Guildford, manager Dave W shuffled his pack and employed a new formation, switching from the usual 3-4-1 to a 2-5-1 which was in effect a 2-3-3 when Teddington were in possession… which was often. 

In front of the typically impressive defensive double-act of Saskia Brewster and Millie Theobald, Ella V anchored a fluid midfield featuring the effervescent Sophie Wallman and the intelligent Emily Coulson, while Phoebe and Amy Hallett provide the width and back-up for ever-willing front-runner Ale Fairn. 

Second half: Damp

When sole sub Ruby Rudkin came on, she slotted effortlessly into the system and quickly scored, celebrating with her usual joie de vivre: nobody loves scoring more than the combative midfielder. By that time, Phoebe had completed her hat-trick with what she admitted was a "rubbish goal" - nice when you can afford to disregard some - and Amy had hit a quickfire double as Teddington continued to stretch the game and the opponents in their usual way, scoring from flowing team moves. Ale's well-deserved finish made it 8-0 at half-time.

A moist half-time team-talk was enlivened by Charlotte Ward handing the goalkeeper's top to Ella V, as ever itching to get involved in any way possible. It's to Ella's credit that Teddington maintained their clean sheet in the second half, with the pass-and-move ethos now stretching all the way back to the goalkeeper. 

TAFC Ultras: Phoebe's dad and Ella PM

As for Charlotte, she found herself thrown into outfield action during the second half and surprised everyone by bagging a couple of goals in quick succession, showing such determination that she accidentally injured Ruby in the course of the first. By then Ruby had bagged her second and was reasonably content to limp off, although she did reveal on the sidelines that "I haven't scored a hat-trick in weeks". 

Phoebe certainly has - another double early in the second half made it five for the day, 14 for the season - while Amy completed her own treble late in the game, to the amused disappointment of those supporters willing her to set up a goal for the deserving Emily. Amy apologised for not passing, but Emily, typically, was self-effacing and unselfish. Always looking for the best pass, she did her family proud - as did all the girls. 

"Race you back to the clubhouse!"

Tougher tasks await. Next week's visitors are Caterham Pumas, who since their no-show against Teddington have won their two games, scoring 13 goals and only conceding 1; then it's Kempton Girls, who have won all three games except the one Teddington somewhat fortuitously won 4-2 in the absence of Kempton's star striker. 

If those two teams can be beaten on Bushy Park, then Teddington will be on maximum points after playing 9 of their scheduled 15 games, and can truly start to consider promotion. Complacency is a key enemy, but if the girls continue to pass and move, they could go a long way indeed.  

TEDDINGTON ATHLETIC (2-5-1): Charlotte Ward (2); Millie Theobald, Saskia Brewster; Amy Hallett (3), Sophie Wallman, Ella V (1), Emily Coulson (c), Phoebe Head (5); Ale Fairn (1). Sub: Ruby Rudkin (2). 10am, Teddington Cricket Club.

(Images to follow later when the league table's updated and the phone's dried out...)